


our eyes fill with the falling sparks

by devereauxed



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fourth of July, Pre-Canon, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-18 08:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11287167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devereauxed/pseuds/devereauxed
Summary: It's the first anniversary of that fateful Fourth of July, and Luisa doesn't know how to get through the day without Rose.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write something about these two crazy kids for Fourth of July and by posting the first part now I'm hoping it forces me finish it before then. 
> 
> There will eventually be smut, but this chapter is mostly angst. Sorry, not sorry. 
> 
> Let me know how you like it!

As another stray firework lit up the sky outside of Luisa’s apartment she groaned loudly and pressed a pillow over her face, hoping to block out the memories as the light. The last thing she needed was a reminder. Her mind raced, torturing her with images she couldn’t unsee – Rose in a red dress, looking at her with wide, dark eyes, Rose with rivulets of water running down her face, fireworks bursting brightly behind her, Rose writhing against soft hotel sheets, coming undone under Luisa’s hands.

She sighed and threw the pillow across the room. Yet another firework burst outside her window and Luisa lost it. She stormed to the balcony, threw open the door and screamed, “It is July 3rd, assholes!”

Raucous, drunken laughter greeted her in response. One of the men on the street sloppily called up to her. “Tense, babe? Want me to help you relax?” 

“Yeah I can get whatever you got, in plastic, twice as big,” she yelled back before stomping back into her apartment and slamming the sliding door closed.

She slumped to the bed, her elbows on her knees, and dropped her head into her hands.

She’d never minded the Fourth of July before. Even once she’d stopped drinking, or started again, there always a party to go to, a barbecue, something at the Marbella, even just the fireworks out over the water. Miami always did it right. But now…

It felt eerily like trying not to drink. Her skin crawled, her mind raced, she couldn’t sit still. All she wanted was to feel Rose’s skin against hers, to hear her moan, to make her come. She hadn’t even seen her since the wedding. Her father had quickly whisked his new bride away to Europe, giving no return date, insisting they would be back when they were back. It had been for the best. She and Rose had continued their affair right up until the night before Rose married her father, and with them out of the country at least Luisa could attempt to pick up the pieces on her own. 

But the holiday had loomed in the distance. Luisa had convinced herself that if she could just get through it without drinking then she could call it a win, but Rose and her father had made their unexpected and unannounced return to Miami the day before and it was like the rug had been pulled out from under her.

She couldn’t stop herself from wondering if Rose had done it on purpose, that maybe she had wanted to be back in time for the holiday, for the anniversary, _their_ anniversary. She shook her head, trying to keep those thoughts at bay, fighting the urge to drown these feelings in a bottle of vodka. Pacing the length of her bedroom, digging her nails painfully into the palms of her hands to keep her focused, Luisa argued with herself. The part of her that wanted Rose fought with the part that didn’t, and to make matters worse the part of her that wanted a drink fought with the voice of Rose telling her not to give in, that she was strong enough to handle this, that she knew she could do this. It was too much. 

She needed a distraction. She picked up her phone and called her brother. Rafael answered, clearly drunk, and Luisa sighed. It was hard enough getting Rafael to focus on her when he wasn’t drunk, this wouldn’t do her any good. 

She hung up and stared at the screen, her eyes focused on the name that topped her contacts. She hesitated. Her mind whirled, she just needed something to focus on. She needed somewhere to put all of this energy. 

“Fuck it,” she said, tapping call and putting the phone to her ear. What was one small mistake to avoid making a bigger one? 

“Allison?” 

* * *

 

Hours later, Luisa lay awake, staring at the ceiling, playing agitatedly with her hair. This had definitely been a bad idea, and to make matters worse, it hadn’t helped at all. It hadn’t come remotely close to scratching the itch she so desperately needed scratched, and now as she lay trapped beneath Allison’s arm, thrown haphazardly across her stomach, Luisa wanted to jump out of her skin. 

Allison snored lightly beside her and she could still hear stray fireworks periodically being set off; every sound drove Luisa’s anxiety up another notch until she felt like she was going to explode. She needed to get out.

She carefully pushed Allison’s arm off of her and started rooting around for her clothes. After pulling her dress over her head, she quickly scanned the area for her underwear, but when the other woman began to stir, she immediately turned away and moved towards the door. She didn’t really need her underwear. 

She heard Allison call after her, confusion evident in her voice, but Luisa didn’t bother to stop or make excuses, she just needed out. 

Running all the way down the stairs, she stormed out the front door of Allison’s apartment building, gasping for air. 

 _How the fuck am I going to make it through today?_ she thought desperately, leaning against her car and taking deep breaths.

The night was still, the heat of the blistering Miami summer day having settled into a thick warmth, coating everything with an oppressive stickiness. Looking around, Luisa took in the deserted cityscape. The bars had long since let out, those who had pushed through last call having found a place to collapse for the evening. Even the overeager pyromaniacs had finally seemed to have given up on their early firework displays and gone home. She felt utterly alone.

When Rose was in Europe it was easy to pretend that she was okay, that she had moved on, that it didn’t matter anymore. If she was in Europe, Luisa couldn’t touch her anyway. But now… she was so close. Just knowing that Rose was in Miami had ripped away any sense of closure she thought she’d had. The desperate, clawing need to see her tore at her more than the need for a drink and it scared her. 

A light flicked on in Allison’s apartment and Luisa quickly slid into the car, not at all in the mood for a confrontation. 

Eager to tire herself out, she drove, headed nowhere. She rolled all of the windows down, turned up the music, and pulled onto the freeway, hoping that the rush of the air against her and the relentless beat would quiet her mind. 

Eventually, the sky began to lighten and other cars started to make their way onto the road. She sighed, heading back toward her apartment. It was no use. After making her way home, she trudged back to her bedroom, dropped her keys to the floor, and, still in her wrinkled dress, collapsed to the bed. Curling into herself, she drifted off, too exhausted to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luisa does her best to make it through the Fourth of July without Rose. 
> 
> But she doesn't know where the night will take her. 
> 
> (The much longer, less angsty ending!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT. I'm proud that I got it done before the zero hour. 
> 
> I'm also actually really proud of this chapter, so I hope you guys like it too!
> 
> Happy Roisa anniversary!

Luisa opened her eyes, squinting in the sunlight, her hopes of having slept the day away dashed. She stared blearily around the room, trying to pinpoint what had woken her, and groaned as she heard a knock at the door.

She sat up, thankful that at least she hadn’t woken with a hangover, and looked at the clock. 

_12:35_

Kicking her feet out from under the blanket, Luisa stared at the wall, contemplating whether or not she wanted to open the door. There was nobody she wanted to see – 

Except. 

It couldn’t be. 

She was on her feet without another thought, padding quickly to the door, trying to keep herself from running. She threw the door open, hope filling her chest – 

“Hey, sis!” Rafael exclaimed. 

Her heart sank; she hoped her disappointment didn’t show in her face.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. 

He pushed past her into the apartment, “I saw that you called me last night. I was pretty wasted.” 

“Yeah, I was having a rough night,” Luisa said, closing the door behind him. 

He collapsed onto her couch and threw his feet up on the table. “I met this girl last night, and Lu, I swear to god, I want to marry her.” 

Luisa sighed. “It’s only been twelve hours, maybe wait a week,” she said, irritation leeching into her voice. 

Rafael plowed on, oblivious to her tone, describing the girl he’d met in far greater detail than his sister cared to hear, even if she hadn’t been having a hard time. 

“Anyway, you’ll meet her at brunch, we should probably get going.” 

Luisa looked up, eyes wide. “Brunch?” 

“Yeah, come on,” he stood, moving toward the door.

“Raf, I’m really not feeling well, I don’t think I’m up for-“ she started, but he interrupted her.

“Come on, Lu, this is important to me, I really like this girl. I could really use your support.” 

She sighed. “Fine. Let me change.” 

Twenty minutes later Luisa found herself at a table with her brother, four of his lush friends, and a girl who was very sweet but wouldn’t last the week. She gritted her teeth as she clinked her water with their champagne, doing her best not stare at the bubbling liquid in their glasses. It was torture. She couldn’t have Rose, she couldn’t have a drink, and thanks to her brother she couldn’t even sleep it all away.

She spent the entire meal smiling politely, hoping that nobody realized she wasn’t actually listening to them. She tuned them out until their conversation was merely a gentle hum, trying to remember where the nearest AA meeting was or if she still had her sponsor’s number. 

“-the fireworks, right?”

The word snapped her back to the conversation. 

“What?” 

“I said you’re coming with us to the fireworks, right?” Rafael asked. “Dad said they’re doing their own at the hotel this year. Something about a big plan Rose had, I don’t know, but he swears it’s going to be awesome.” 

Luisa stared at him. 

“Have you seen them since they got back?” he continued. “They seem really happy. Maybe this one will actually last. At least he picked someone smart this time, thank god it’s not like talking to a piece of wood, do you remember Tracy?” 

Luisa couldn’t speak. Her mind went blank as her stomach twisted and she fought the urge to throw up. 

“Lu? What’s wrong?” he asked, his forehead wrinkling in concern. 

“Nothing,” she said, standing up, trying to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. “Dad and I just had a bit of a blowup the last time we talked. Really not up for seeing him or dealing with it. You guys have fun.” 

She bolted for the door before Rafael could say anything else, not stopping until she’d made it out of the restaurant and around the corner. She collapsed against the wall, trying to catch her breath. 

Rose was planning a firework show for the Marbella. For the Fourth of July. With her father. It really was over, and Rose wanted to make sure she knew it. She just didn’t understand how she could be so cruel. 

She couldn’t focus, she couldn’t breathe, she didn’t know what to do. Trying to find somewhere to go, something to do, she realized she had stopped directly across the street from the liquor store. She could hear Rose’s voice in her head, telling her to be strong, telling her to walk away, but she was so angry at her that it wasn’t working. She was the last person she wanted advice from, all she wanted was to shut her up. 

Pushing away from the wall decisively, she crossed the street and stepped into the store. Just the smell of the air sent a shiver down her spine. She felt ill but energized, her heart beating loudly in her ears. 

She walked through the store, running her hand gently across the cold glass of the bottles. It was so close. She just had to pick it up. 

Clenching her fists, she closed her eyes and breathed. As much as she wanted this, she didn’t want _this_. She opened her eyes, her gaze landing on the magazine rack near the front of the store. Along the bottom there was a row of puzzle books – word searches, crosswords, Sudoku, logic puzzles. Her mind cleared a little. 

“No,” she said firmly and forced herself to the rack, picking up a stack of them. During her last stint in rehab she’d started doing puzzles like this to keep herself focused and clear her mind. She wasn’t going to throw away everything she had worked for, not now. 

As she slapped the pile of books down on the counter, the man behind it raised an eyebrow. “Just this?” 

“Yes,” she said emphatically. He shrugged and rang her up.

Rushing back to her apartment, Luisa locked the door, closed the blinds and turned up the stereo. If she could block out the holiday, the sounds and the smells, and just _focus_ then she could make it through the day. 

She curled up on the couch and opened the book of logic puzzles, flipping to the most challenging ones, knowing the easy ones would bore her. 

 _The feature that is 550 meters wide was either the feature discovered in August or the crater discovered in June._

_The feature discovered in September was either the crater that was dated to 150,000 BCE or the crater in Zimbabwe._

_The crater that is 780 meters wide is believed to be newer than the crater in Rwanda._

She felt some of the tension leave her shoulders, her chest loosening slightly, just enough to catch her breath. She could do this. She knew this.

With a deep breath she began to write.  

* * *

Three hours later, she sat back and stretched. The itch was still there, just under her skin, but she felt more in control.

She pushed herself up and walked to the kitchen, intending to rummage through what she had in the cupboards, and in all likelihood find the number for the pizza place down the street, when her phone caught her eye. She’d thrown it on the counter when she’d stumbled home the night before, and now it was flashing repeatedly. Eying it warily, she leaned against the counter, weighing the pros and cons of looking at it. She didn’t want anything to send her running back to the liquor store, but she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if there might be a message from Rose. Before she could talk herself out of it, she snatched it up, and unlocked the screen.

Three missed calls from a number she didn’t recognize, two from Raf and a slew of messages. She opened the ones from her brother, intending to send him a quick response so he wouldn’t worry. 

 _Dad’s not here! He left for New York this morning! You should come!!!_

_Luisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_Come on, please???_

_Rose was even asking for you! She seemed a little sad you weren’t going to see the fireworks._

Luisa’s heart skipped a beat. Rose was sad she wasn’t going to be there for the fireworks? 

It felt like the world crashed down around her. The fireworks weren’t for her father; they were for her.

It wasn’t over. 

Without another thought she grabbed her keys from the counter and raced out the door. She needed to get to the Marbella.  

* * *

Pulling up to the staff entrance, Luisa threw her car in park and ran, not caring if she had blocked anyone in. She just needed to find Rose. 

She raced through the hallways, rushing past bewildered staff members, heading for the beach. If that’s where the fireworks would be, then hopefully Rose was there too. 

Pushing through the crowds milling along the patios and the sand she searched for that head of red hair moving among them. Luisa pulled herself up onto a pillar, scanning the group. She wasn’t there.

Would she be upstairs? In the offices? She pulled out her phone and called the suite. No answer. Looking at the recent calls she paused, her finger hovering over the unknown number. She knew that Rose had gotten rid of her phone before leaving for Europe, but now that she was back… 

Hoping she was right, she pressed call and held the phone to her ear.

Rose’s voice filled her ear and she felt warmth radiate through her body. 

_You’ve reached Rose Solano. Please leave a message._

It was her. She’d called. She’d been trying to find her. Luisa wanted to cry. 

“Rose, it’s me, I…” she trailed off, swallowing hard. “I’m here. I didn’t know, I….I’m here.” 

She hung up and looked around, hoping the other woman would somehow magically appear in the crowd. She didn’t. 

Luisa pushed her way back inside, peeking into the restaurant, before stepping behind the front desk and nudging the harried-looking man behind it. 

“Hey, Robert.”

“Ms. Alver,” he said, giving her a quick smile. 

“I don’t have time to go four rounds with you about calling me Luisa, so let’s pretend we did that already,” she said, smiling back at him. 

“All righty,” he grinned. “What can I do for you?” 

“Have you seen Rose?” she asked. 

“Oh, Mrs. Solano left about twenty minutes ago. She said not to expect her back tonight,” he said, apologetically. 

Luisa deflated. “She left? Did she say where she was going?” 

“No, I’m sorry. I have her new cellphone number on hand if it’s an emergency?” he said, rummaging through a pile of papers in front of him. 

She shook her head. “No, um, don’t worry about it. It’s not an emergency.” 

“I wish I could be of more help,” Robert said. 

“It’s fine. Thanks, Robert,” she said, turning away and making her back down the staff hallway. 

Numbly, she slid into her car. She’d left. She’d missed her chance. Now Rose probably thought she didn’t want her. She’d ruined everything. 

Driving home, she forced herself to go the long way so she wouldn’t pass the liquor store. She just had to go home and keep trying to call Rose, she had to get through.

* * *

Holding the phone to her ear, she pushed through the front door of her building and stepped into the elevator. Voicemail again. Rose must have her phone off. _Shit_ , Luisa thought. 

The elevator doors opened. Luisa’s heart stopped. 

Rose was standing in front of her, her phone to her ear. 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

“Hi,” Luisa breathed out. 

“Hi,” Rose responded, looking as overwhelmed as Luisa felt. 

And then they were kissing. 

Luisa wrapped her arms tightly around Rose’s shoulders as Rose’s hands tangled in her hair; their lips met again and again, endlessly, fervently. 

Somehow Luisa managed to maneuver them back toward her front door, pulling away reluctantly so she could find her keys. Rose stared at her breathlessly, her lips swollen, eyes dark, and Luisa was overcome with the need to _have_ her, she needed see her fall apart under her hands, her tongue. 

Pushing the door open, she roughly pulled Rose into her apartment. She considered pushing the other woman against the door, dropping to her knees, and having that be that, but the need to feel her skin against her, to feel her writhing beneath her was too strong. 

They tugged roughly at each other’s clothes, dropping pieces to the floor or flinging them carelessly across the room. Luisa was aiming for the bed, but the moment she saw Rose’s underwear hit the floor, the freckles across her thighs bared to her gaze, she detoured, pushing the redhead roughly onto the couch and covering her body with her own. 

She kissed her deeply, wasting no time pushing her thigh between Rose’s legs. Rose immediately began to thrust against it, moaning into Luisa’s mouth, grasping her back tightly. 

Luisa was reduced only to need. She needed all of her, she needed to watch her shatter under her. It was something beyond desire; she felt wild. 

All of Luisa’s attention was focused on making Rose come, her tongue on her skin, hands on her breasts, thigh pressing roughly against her, but there was something different about how Rose was responding to her. As passionate as they’d been before, there was something new, something unrestrained about the redhead now. She was wanton, she was loud, she was shamelessly taking her pleasure from Luisa and giving her everything. 

Watching this unfold beneath her, Luisa couldn’t control herself, rolling her hips into Rose against her will. She wanted to make Rose come more than anything, but before she realized it she was on the verge herself.   

Gazing down at the redhead, all she saw in Rose’s eyes was want. For the first time ever, Rose was completely bare before her, and the realization sent Luisa over the edge. 

Gasping, she held herself up on shaky arms.

“Lu,” Rose whispered, dazed. 

“I wanted…you,” she panted.

“You have me,” she responded, her hands cupping Luisa’s face. “It’s okay, you still have me.”

Luisa had no words so she leaned down and took Rose’s lips in a rough, demanding kiss. Rose somehow both yielded to Luisa’s insistence and gave it back to her. They were lost in the kiss, pressed together desperately, hands greedy. 

Rose pulled back just enough to say through gasping breaths, “You have me. Take me.” 

Luisa groaned loudly, sliding a hand between Rose’s legs and entering her with two, then three fingers. Rose maintained her earlier wildness, clutching at Luisa, bucking her hips into her thrusts eagerly, and moaning loudly. 

Luisa lost herself in the sight, the sounds, the feel of Rose. This was all she’d wanted; it was all she’d needed. This moment, this woman, this was what fulfilled her, what quenched that thirst she couldn’t ever satiate. Pushing harder, faster, hypnotized by the woman beneath her, Luisa took and she gave. 

Rose broke, screaming Luisa’s name with abandon and Luisa collapsed against her.

 _Finally_ , Luisa thought. She was finally satisfied.     

* * *

An hour later, Luisa stood in the darkness of her bedroom, staring dazedly out the balcony door. 

This was not where she had thought the night was going to end up. 

Closing her eyes, she took a slow, deep breath. 

“Lu, come on, you’re going to miss it,” a voice called out from the darkness. 

Luisa opened her eyes and smiled. 

She stepped out onto the balcony. Rose was curled up on the lounge wrapped in a blanket. As Luisa made her way toward her, she opened it, letting Luisa settle back against her before wrapping her arms and the blanket around her gently. 

“I’m just glad we can see from here,” Rose said in her ear. 

“You’re a sap, you know that?” Luisa replied. 

“I am not,” the other woman said. “I put a lot of work into this.” 

“Exactly. You’re a sap.”

Rose shushed her. 

They waited in comfortable silence and then, suddenly, fireworks lit up the sky near the water. Rose tightened her arms around Luisa and kissed her neck so softly Luisa thought she may have imagined it. 

Luisa had so much she wanted to know, and so much she wanted to say. But for now there was the Fourth of July, and there were fireworks.


End file.
